Sign and carry your organ donor card.

Directly above your signature, write: “BALLS ONLY.”

Last Gasp published Mario’s book, (A Cynic’s Guide to) A Rich and Full Life. In it, DiGiorgio gives tongue-in-cheek advice on how to be more self-centered, cynical, and most importantly, hilariously inappropriate.

“Dance like nobody’s watching. Then apologize to those who were.”

“Tape record your mother’s laughter. Play it at your father’s funeral.”

“Help a child plant a garden. They have no idea what pot looks like.”

“Write down three things that were great about today. I know, neither can I.”